The Impossible Kid (1982)

11. The Impossible Kid (1982)

Liwiw Films International (first screened July 23, 1982)

Director Eddie Nicart Producer “Twinkle” Executive Producer Peter M. Caballes Screenplay Greg B. Macabenta Story Idea “Cora C. Ridon”/Cora Ridon Caballes Editor Edgardo “Boy” Vinarao Cinematographer Bhal Dauz Musical Director Pablo Vergara Theme Song sung by Ruby (Tokem) Tia Assistant Directors & Fight Co-ordinators Mando Pangilinan, Oscar Reyes Sub-Assistant Director Bert Soliman Stunt Co-ordinator Eddie Nicart Production Manager Evelyn Baruelo Special Effects T.N.T. Make Up Artist Baby Gonzales Prop & Setting Alex Pascual, Jaime Diono, Lito de Guzman Stills Roger Robles Legmen Bobby Caballes, Rod Reyes Utility Rudy Montallana, Rico Menzon Assistant Editors Gini Celis, Boy Gloria, Danny Gloria Sound Effects Rodel Capuli Sound Engineer Vic Macamay Recordists Florencio Ortega, Mario Alcantara Unit LL Production Post Production Magnatech Omni Processing Motion Picture Lab. (Philippines) Titles & Opticals Cinema Optics Film Services

Cast Weng Weng (Agent 00), Romy Diaz (Senor Manolo), Nina Sara (Lolita), Tony Carreon (Don Simeon), Ben Johnson (Chief), Rene Romero (Sgt Romero), Efren Lapid (Guest 1), Lita Vasquez (Guest 2), Chicklet Moreno (Secretary), Ruben Ramos (Abdul), Joe Cunanan (Joe), Romy Nario (Mr X), Ben Morro (Morro), Boy Banes (Agent 1), Renato Morado (Agent 2), Rolly [listed in opening credits as “Rowy”] Esteban (Agent 3), Vangie Evangelista (Agent 4), Amor Siron, Avel Morado (Guests), Jessie Lee (Minister), Jess Ramos (General de Vera), Jose Dura (Chief of Staff), Nini dela Rama (INP Chief), Jimmy Milallos (Hagad), Alma Siron, Barbara Manipol, Ailice Siron, Gina Samonte, Irene Robles The Americans George Gyenes, Lee Scott, David Anderson, Neils Elcehorn, Jack Holltz, Jim Crumrine The Goons Fred Esplana, Jay Grama, Erning Reyes, Roland Falces, Eddie Samonte, Rey Abella, Lito Navarro, Gil Bandong, Joe Andrade, Jess Bonzo, Joe Estrada, Roger Santos, Remy Nocum, Ernie Gubaton, Mando Manarang, Tony Bongat, Ramon Tiangco, Jimy Custodio, Mike Manarang, Triumpo Garces, Rodrigo Faculto, Rey Garces, SOS Daredevils, Thunder Stuntmen, D’Professional

Also known as: For Y’ur Height Only (Swedish VHS box title – the credits still read “The Impossible Kid”)… 007½: Rien N’Est Impossible (“Nothing Is Impossible” - French video released on Script)… L'Invincible Kid du Kung Fu (possible French cinema title)… The Incredible Kung Fu Kid, The Impossible Kid Of Kung Fu, The Impossible Kid Of Kung Fu (possible translations of the French title)

In The Impossible Kid, midget superhero Agent OO is back and is shorter than ever in his little white suit and pudding bowl haircut, now working for the Manila branch of Interpol. The Chief, a low-rent version of M complete with his own Miss Moneypenny, sends him in the pursuit of Mr X, an arch villian with a white sock on his head, who is holding the Philippines to ransom. Two businessmen, Senor Manolo (classic bad guy Romy Diaz) and Don Simeon (Tony Carreon), pay the demands but Weng Weng suspects foul play and goes deep undercover to reveal the identity of Mr X. Here the James Bond references kick into top gear: Agent OO has even MORE gadgets at his disposal, including a miniature bike which sounds like one of those high-pitched grass cutters and does an incredible leap across a ravine - along a very visible wire! Another highlight is an incredible stunt where Weng Weng gets to use his circus training and walks along a tight rope between two buildings. He then jumps down a garbage chute straight onto his waiting motorbike. Impossible? Mais non!

The opening is a killer - Weng is suspended over the side of a building and gets to ogle naked women through the windows. Now, nudity has never presented a problem to me. But in a Filipino kids film? With midgets involved? The Impossible Kid now ranks up there with 70s Danish sexploitation export The Sinful Dwarf as sleaze mini-classics. Not exactly “dwarfspoitation”, but very sordid indeed. Musically the film offers the same hodge-podge of garbled Bond scores courtesy of Pablo Vergara and, more bizarrely, the theme to The Pink Panther (well, almost). Top of the Manila hit parade is the opener “The Impossible Kid” sung by a cabaret songstress who croons to her micro-hero: “I love you my Weng Weng, come to me and kiss me, I love you Weng Wengggggg!!!” Unfortunately the film is no For Y’ur Height Only, so hoping to strike Comedy Gold a second time is really asking for the impossible - without the surreal rescripting and preposterous English dubbing with bad Peter Lorre impressions, it’s not the same delirious experience. Still, any Weng is good Weng, and we should be thankful for the little guy getting another shot at filmic infamy.