The Complete Weng Weng filmography: Silakbo (1975)

The Complete WENG WENG filmography (so far)

Many thanks to Simon Santos from Quezon City’s VIDEO 48 whose tireless efforts in researching Philippines cinema has unearthed all of the following Filipino ads, and in the process has confirmed the existence of FOUR forgotten Weng Weng films.

1. Silakbo (1975)

Prima Productions (first screened October 17, 1975)

Director/Writer Manuel Songco Cinematography Rudy Quijano Music Demet Velasquez

Cast Eddie Gutierrez, Lotis Key, Dante Varona, Romy Diaz, Odette Khan, Zandro Zamora, Marie Antoinette, Alberta “Peaches” Rainge, Joe Villafranca, Lita Sandoval, Misty Gallardo, Jun Santos, Veen Rosette, Evelyn Shenna, Kiti-Kiti, Henry Pineda, Vivian Betty, Sheba “Mor” Tatad, Freddie Robles, Lilian Fernando, [uncredited] Weng Weng

Miracles keep falling from the sky... Cora Caballes' agent handed me a list of Weng Weng titles while I was at the ABS/CBN film archives in January 2008, and this one (along with a completely unidentifiable one, "Dugo May Umagos") was a mystery. I remember Weng Weng's brother told me his favourite WW film was "the one with Lotis Key".

Digging through the Archives, I found cast and crew details, and we hit gold: confirmation of the earliest known Weng Weng appearance on film, this time released just after his 18th birthday.

Until we find the movie itself, this is all I can glean of the film's details. From appearances it's a standard Tagalog action film with then-popular stars Eddie Gutierrez, Dante Varona (later in Weng Weng's Agent OO), Lotis Key (girlfriend of Dolphy and star of many comedies AND kung fu films) and Romy Diaz (regular Weng Weng villain).

Sila... Sa Bawat Bangketa (1976) and Rez Cortez interview

2. Sila...Sa Bawat Bangketa (1976)

Liliw Productions (first screened 17^th December, 1976)

Director Dante “Boy” Pangilinan Writer "Cora C. Ridon"/Cora Ridon Caballes Producer Twinkle Music Kuya Mimo Cinematography Nestor Orense

Cast Rez Cortez, Ramon “Boy” Bagatsing, Ingrid Salas, Yoyoy Villame, Weng Weng, Joy Navarro, Michael Vallar, Marie Grace Santos, Linda Castro, Sarah Gumaboa, Vivian Velez, Danny Glenmore, Ruel Romano, Odette Khan, Rudy de la Pena, Tony Orbeta, Angel Confiado, Gil Arena, Leo Langalong, SOS Daredevils, Larry Esguerra, Amay Bisaya

Weng Weng is featured in a sizable (ahem) role as the older brother of one of the criminal juveniles.

Of all of Weng Weng’s early features, this one remained the most mysterious and elusive. The trail began with a chance meeting with actor Rez Cortez in July 2007; the famous contrabida was at the Film Academy for a Screen Actors Guild meeting, and happened to mention in passing that even HE was in a film with Weng Weng. Of course he couldn’t remember the name of the film, or the year, or his other co-stars. It looked like another dead end.

Back in Australia, I chanced upon a note I’d scribbled down while in the ABS-CBN Film Archives a few months prior to the meeting: a Liliw film from 1977 called Sila…Sa Bawat Bangketa, starring Rez Cortez. I immediately rang Rez in Quezon City: “Is this the one?” “Yes it is…”

In January I pinned down Rez for an on-camera interview about his 35 year career in films, from his work in “goon” films as a thinking man’s contrabida, to his films with everyone from Celso Ad. Castillo to the Philippines littlest hero…

REZ CORTEZ INTERVIEW JANUARY 2008

Andrew: Do you remember the movie now?

Rez: During that time it’s a movie that is something you can forget. There is no significant experience with that movie. Only the novelty of working with Weng Weng, and the curiosity – “What’s this Weng Weng? Is he a TOY?” Then I realize he’s human, he’s a person. He’s a very sad person. He tried to smile, but you can see it in his eyes that he’s very lonely, his connection with people is very superficial. But we play like humans, to be teased by women. When he looks at the actresses he’s working with, he’s titillated. You say, “Hey Weng Weng, this actress, I think she likes you!” He enjoyed that.

Most people who worked with him say the same thing – he pretended to be a ladies’ man. But couldn’t…

His limitations… Of course his voice is very small, sometimes I had a hard time understanding what he’s talking about. I have to ask, “What? Anong?” He tried to connect. But he’s got limitations, I think he cannot get in touch with his feelings. Because when you ask, “Do you feel lonely?” “Yeah, I cried…” So his inner thing is somehow very superficial. As an actor you have to be in touch with your emotions. And that’s why there’s a style or a way to direct Weng. How can you draw out that emotion if he himself cannot recognize those emotions? When you ask him “How do you feel,” his answer is something else. It’s not a feeling that he’s thought about. It’s a factual thing that he can experience. Also I’m aware that he’s taken care of by the producers [Peter & Cora Caballes], that somehow the producers are not giving him the compensation that he’s supposed to get.

You can tell this, just from being on the set?

The producers are taking care of him, but the problem is he’s the lead star. He’s very small, yeah? He’s supposed to ride in a car, but you can see him on the set riding in the utility service [truck]. Because maybe the production manager said, “Hey, pick up Weng Weng!” They don’t repackage him as a star. Actually I think Weng Weng’s happy with that. Maybe for him it’s a blessing; for him it’s something higher than what he’s having. But he deserved more.

Was he one of the main characters?

One of the leads. Because there’s an action star who’s in that movie, sort of a tandem with Weng Weng. Of course it’s the kind of movie where they like to shoot my scenes in one day so I’ll be finished. So they try to squeeze all my scenes.

Your involvement in the film was minimal?

No. I have a lot of scenes, but I have minimal shooting days. For example, in one scene all my angles that I’m involved in, they get first or they leave the others’ shots, for goon or other character, for another day. “They’ll just finish him first ‘cause he’s expensive!” I’m not expensive. But on THEIR standard… (laughs)

Do you remember anything about the plot?

It’s about a type of syndicate. We take care of some kids and we ask them to sell something, and some of the kids we use as a courier for illegal items, like drugs and other things.

Is Weng Weng one of those kids?

Weng Weng is supposed to be a relative of one of the kids. And he sort of saves them. As I’ve said, it’s one movie that you want to forget. So my recollection of that movie’s very vague. It’s a movie where you don’t like what you’re doing. Just to get over this, let’s finish this. Because if you’re going to suggest something, you have to fix everything. The material has a problem in the first place. That’s how I work with that kind of material – just to get over this.

So it’s not a B film, it’s a C or D film…? What do you remember about working with the Caballes?

In the first place they’re not filmmakers. They’re just there because they know they can make money. So, that creative aspect of a producer is non-existent. They continue producing because of Weng Weng. It’s an opportunity for them to make money and spend less. But they’re good people, and I like them, Pete and Cora. They’re OK. But they’re not filmmakers, they’re businessmen, and they’re producers that believe money saved is money earned. In an extreme context. Even food, they tried to cut the cost of food.

But they were successful.

I don’t like to be judgemental, but they’re part of the system. There are a lot of producers like them. They’re there for the wrong reasons. Not necessarily wrong , but it’s a reason that I don’t agree with. But if you’re going to be a producer, you must have the vision, you have to have a hold on your material. But of course everything came down to economics. They’re that type of producer.

Chop Suey Met Big Time Papa (1978)

3. Chop Suey Met Big Time Papa (1978)

Liliw Productions (first screened February 3, 1978)

Director Dante "Boy" Pangilinan Screenplay Coran Ridon Caballes Music Anthony Castillano Producer "Twinkle" [also listed as producer of The Impossible Kid]

Cast Ramon Zamora (Chop-Suey), Weng Weng (Big Time Papa)

All that remains of this LONG forgotten Liliw production is the poster, starring popular martial artist and comedian Ramon Zamora as "Chopsuey", reprising his character from the 1975 Bobby A. Suarez production They Call Him Chop-Suey, and a twenty year old Weng Weng playing "Big Time Papa" in what could be his very first film. The poster even lists his vital statistics: "Weight 30 pounds, redbelt master, blood pressure 120/80"!!!

An early film for Pete & Cora Caballes, the husband and wife team who discovered Weng Weng through his martial arts instructor, formed Liliw Productions (later Liliw Films International) and sold Agent Double O to the world. When Cora was elected as a councillor in Manila, both Liliw’s output and Weng Weng’s career came to a grinding halt. The couple divorced in the late Eighties. Peter returned to his native Liliw in Laguna where it is believed he owned a resort and passed away around April 2007; Cora is a successful businesswoman who spends much of her time in the United States.

The Quick Brown Fox (1980)

4. The Quick Brown Fox (1980)

RVQ Productions (first screened November 6, 1980)

Director Jett C. Espiritu Screenplay Vic J. Poblete Executive Producer Rodolfo V. Quizon [Dolphy] Cinematographer Claro Gonzalez Editor Efren Jarlego

Cast Dolphy, Nida Blanca, Jing Abalos, Paquito Bautista, Nonong de Andres, Teroy de Guzman, Paquito Diaz, Lea Dominguez, Fred Esplana, Jim Gaines (Assassin), Jay Grama, Anna Marie Gutierrez, Remy Mack, Carmi Martin, Panchito, Panchito Jr, Boy Pineda, Er Salazar, Tsing Tong Tsai, Conde Ubaldo, Max Vera, Weng Weng

A real coup for the Search For Weng Weng documentary was meeting Dolphy, real name Rodolfo V. Quizon: the undisputed king of Philippines comedy since the 1950s, and certainly the most prolific, with over 200 film appearances to his credit. At 80 he’s hinting at retiring the crown soon, with a rash of pretenders (Vic Sotto, Vhong Navarro) waiting behind the curtains to claim the throne, yet he still tapes a hugely popular TV sitcom each week, and is planning a feature with Sotto later this year. Aside from sentimental family-centric comedy, his main forte are parodies of pop culture, both Western and Filipino, and he’s been Tarzan, the Lone Ranger, Dracula, an effeminate Darna, and in the 1966 James Batman, both James Bond AND Batman – and sometimes in the same shot!

Before talking to Dolphy I headed for the ABS-CBN Archives to view a key film in unlocking the Weng Weng mystery. Dolphy’s Angels (1980), directed by kung fu specialist Luis San Juan for Dolphy’s RVQ Productions, is a freewheeling martial arts parody featuring Dolphy as a private investigator and introducing four models who, thanks to Dolphy, would become the most glamorous Filipina actresses of the early 80s: Anna Marie Gutierrez (later the lead in Peque Gallaga’s Scorpio Nights), Carmi Martin, Yehlen Catral, and Liz Alindogan. Considering Peter Caballes was such good friends with Dolphy, it’s little wonder the first three ended up in guest roles in For Y'ur Height Only the following year; the Caballes’ also poached composer Pablo Vergara, whose idiosyncratic, proto-Bondian score for Dolphy’s Angels is almost identical to FYHO. Classic bad guy Max Alvarado (FYHO’s villain in the tartan suit) also makes a guest appearance in a bright yellow fright wig as “Bertong Maize”.

Dolphy remembers working with Weng Weng well, and it was his relationship with Peter Caballes that launched Weng Weng’s film career. Then comes the bombshell: Da Best In Da West (1984) wasn’t his only film with Weng Weng. “Oh no. We made a film together in 1980 called The Quick Brown Fox. I play a spy, and Weng is my sidekick who can crawl into small places.” Silence. “He is captured by the bad guys and ends up crucified.” And THAT was Weng Weng’s first film???? “No, he did a small part in a film for Luis San Juan.” Do you remember the title of THAT film? “No, sorry…”

I headed straight to the ABC-CBN archives the next day and inserted the ancient pneumatic tape from RVQ Productions into the machine. And there was Weng Weng in the credits, along with Carmi Martin and Anna Marie Gutierrez. Dolphy plays a thief and secret agent, employed by Carmi Martin (who’s also, unbeknownst to him, a secret agent) to steal from classic bad guy Paquito Diaz (brother of Romy Diaz, also in Da Best In Da West). Dolphy’s partner is his on-screen wife from his long-running John And Marsha series, Nida Blanco; Weng is his tiny sidekick, looking even more baby-faced than ever, and without a screen persona as such, he’s a little awkward during his squeaky dialogue (all in Tagalog, of course, with no subtitles). Paquito’s goons corner Weng at Dolphy’s pad and he fights back like a little kung fu dynamo, grabbing one by the arm and swinging backwards to kick him in the head! Classic Agent OO moves, of course, and then…..

The picture disintegrates into a snowstorm. RVQ’s pneumatic tape shits oxide all over the machine’s heads, and no matter how many times I run the tape through the machine on fast forward, there’s sound and nothing else. A very apologetic Mary del Pilar from Archives tells me the only copy of The Quick Brown Fox in existence (!!!!) needs surgery, and if beyond resurrection, is gone forever.

I then rang Jim Gaines from a coffee shop. “Hey man, I’ve just seen another Dolphy film with Weng Weng in it.”

“Oh wow, dude. Congratulations.”

“Jim, you’re in the movie too.”

“I am? God. Really? Oh yeah, I was….”

I laugh out loud. “Jim, we’ve been talking about Weng Weng for eight months, and you FORGOT you were in a film with him?”

He laughs too. “Jeez man, I plain forgot. Oh wow…”

Stariray (1981)

5. Stariray (1981)

RVQ Productions [first screened 13th February 1981] sometimes listed as “Istariray”

Director Romy Villaflor Story Roy Vera Cruz Screenplay Vic Felipe Executive Producer Dolphy [as Rodolfo Vera Quizon] Music Dominic Song “Ulam” Sung & Lyrics by Dolphy Set Decorator Pepe Cruz Cinematography Alfonso Alvarez Choreography Lito Calzado Editor Efren Jarlego Assistant Director Danny Hernandez Special Effects Danny Torrente Post Production Manager Alfredo Sta. Ana Sound Effects Demet Velasquez Makeup Ligaya Quince Layout Artist Eddie Domer Stillman Narciso Ocampo Schedule Master Butch Peralta Property Masters Maning Cabides, Doming Ocenar Assistant Editors Armando Jarlego, Dante de Leon Rerecording Technicians Ramon Reyes, Oscar Magnaye Field Soundmen Ledwino Robiso Cameraman Lito Lapara Fight Instructors Fred Esplana, Jay Grama, Roland Falcis Dolphy’s Makeup & Costumes Joey Luna Dolphy’s Makeup Assistant Joe Ledesma Publicity Directors Danny Villanueva, Vic Felipe Assistant General Manager Laura Cooper-Nurse Executive Assistant/Comptroller Paquito Principe Bautista Sound Supervision Luis Reyes General Manager Manny “Boy” Quizon Production Manager Caledonio “Boy” Pineda Project Officer Danding Inocencio

Cast Dolphy (Serafica Parakikay), Panchito (Police Captain), Rod Navarro (Rod), Paquito Diaz (Frank), Rodolfo “Boy” Gutierrez (Boy), Anna Marie Gutierrez (Mother's Monn), Carmi Martin (Stella), Bentot (Stella's "Aunt" #1), Teroy de Guzman (Stella's "Aunt" #2), Renato Robles, Conde Ubaldo, Georgie Quizon, Ferrarie Models, Lito Calzado’s Body Machines, Edgar Quizon, Weng Weng (Chief), Marissa Delgado (Serafica's Mother), Ading Fernando, Matimtiman Cruz, Don Pepot, Balut, Pamela Amor, Benny Mack, Amay Bisaya, Er “Canton” Salazar, Laura Cooper-Nurse, Ben Johnson (Mother's Driver), Ben Manalo, Atong Maximo, Robert Talby, Paquito Bautista, Vic Santos, Roger Saulog, Nery Santos, Sauro Cotoco, Sim Jorge, Francis Ubaldo, Rod Maximo, Tommy Romulo Jr, SOS Daredevils Gagambas Lito Calzado, Panchito Jr, Fred Esplana, Jay Grama, Manny Samson, Rolan Falcis

Da Best In Da West (1981)

6. Da Best In Da West (1981)

RVQ Productions (first screened June 12, 1981)

Director Romy Villaflor Executive Producer RVQ [Dolphy] Story Roy Vera Cruz, Ben Feleo Screenplay Ben Feleo General Manager Manny “Boy” Quizon Choreography Lito Calzado Lyrics Dolphy Sound Supervision Luis Reyes Music Dominic Editor Efren Jarlego Director of Photography Alfonso Alvarez Sound Effects Darn Velasquez Layout Artist Eddie Domier Stills Roger Barvelo Schedule Master Butch Peralta Prop Masters Maning Cabides, Doming Ocenar Assistant Editors Armando Jarlego, Dante de Leon Re-Recording Technicians Ramon Reyes, Oscar Magnaye Field Soundman Ledwino Robiso Cameraman Lito Lapara Stunt Co-ordinators/Fight Instructors Fred Esplana, Eddie Nicart, Jay Grama, Jun de Guia Tailoring D’Sharp Shoes E. Morris Shoes Special Effects Eddie Torrente Set Director Pepe Cruz Assistant General Manager Laura Cooper-Nurse Executive Assistant & Comptroller Paquito Principe Bautista Production Manager Boy Pineda Project Co-ordinator Danding Inocencio Assistant Director Danny Hernandez Production Co-ordinator in Baguio City Barangay Capt Manny Tibayan Colour LVN Studio

Cast Dolphy (Wild Bill Hika), Lito Lapid (Dalton), Yehlen Catral (Jane), Nina Sara (Estralita), Romy Diaz (Facundo), Teroy de Guzman (barman), Conde Ubaldo, Weng Weng (Deputy Bronson), “Antonio Carrion”/Tony Carreon (Don Oligareon), Naty Santiago (Estralita’s Aunt), ER “Canton” Salazar, Manny Tibayan, Ben Johnson (Mayor), Amay Bisaya, Luis San Juan, Fred Esplana, Eddie Nicart, Jay Grama, Jun de Guia, Sancho Tesalona, Joe Cunanan, Romy Nario, Robert Talvy, Jing Caparas, Mel Arca, Nonong de Andres, Rene Tupez, Telly Babasa, Raquel Sayson, Dante Javier, Boyet Argame, “Pete”/Peter M. Caballes, Pete Andal, Kent Gonzales, Roger Saulog, Vic Santos, Neri Santos, Eddie Villamor, Remy Nocum, Ben Sanchez, Mando Pangilinan, Oscar Reyes, SOS Daredevils, Lito Calzado’s Body Machine, Panchito (Inkong Gaspar), Paquito Diaz (Diablo), Rodolfo “Boy” Garcia (Vic Tango), Max Vera (Joey Tango), Max Alvarado (Tito Tango), Dely Atay-Atayan (fat woman at film’s beginning), Georgie Quizon, Don Pepot (tribesman spokesman), Florence Carvajal (large native princess), Johnny Madrid, Efred Lapid, Robert Rivera, Steve Alcarado (bandit), Ruben Ramos (thug with sword), Avel Morada, Josie Andico, George Henry Jr

REVIEW COMING SOON! The second and more significant of Weng Weng’s collaborations with Dolphy (after 1980's The Quick Brown Fox) is Da Best In Da West from 1984, an elaborate 2 hour parody of Pinoy westerns again from RVQ Productions featuring Weng Weng in a cameo as Dolphy’s micro-deputy. Weng Weng’s director and instructor Eddie Nicart is stunt co-ordinator here for SOS Daredevils, and Peter Caballes is listed as an actor in the cast, as is For Your Height Only’s Yehlen Catral, Max Alvarado, Rodolfo “Boy” Garcia, and Weng Weng co-stars Romy Diaz and Tony Carreon (The Impossible Kid, D’Wild Wild Weng), Nina Sara (TIK), Steve Alcarado (DWWW) – the Weng connections are seemingly endless.

Dolphy plays a reluctant hero who inadvertently shoot’s a town’s corrupt sheriff, is proclaimed the new Head Honcho, and ropes in the local midget Bronson (nice touch) to be his deputy. To be honest, Weng has little to do in Da Best... other than provide a bizarre novelty backdrop, wear garish black-and-white cowboy outfits and gesture excitedly during the fight scenes. At one point you hear his real voice - as expected, child-like and even higher pitched than his vocal double in For Y’ur Height Only (1981).

Agent 00 (1981)

7. Agent 00 (1981)

Liliw Productions (first screened May 29, 1981)

Director Eddie Nicart Screenplay Cora Ridon Caballes Music Pablo Vergara

Cast Weng Weng (Agent 00), Ramon Zamora (Agent 001/“Dragon”), Philip Gamboa (Agent 002/“Diego Salvador”), Dante Varona (Agent 003/“Ermitanyo”), Dolphy (The Quick Brown Fox)

THE BIRTH OF AGENT 00! Long thought to be another urban legend, the poster confirms the existence of a fourth (and original) Agent 00 film. Weng Weng’s “first starring role” reunites him with Ramon “Chop-Suey” Zamora, in a film that is unlikely to have been dubbed into English, and is currently AWOL. It’s also the first film as director for Eddie Nicart, award-winning Philippines stunt wizard through SOS Daredevils, who would also direct Weng Weng’s next four features as well as Dante Varona (SOS Daredevil turned actor) in 1981’s Commander Lawin.

Weng Weng's first feature as the two-foot-nine Agent 00 (1981) is still MIA, but here's the set of theatrical stills to give you a taste of 00's debut!

Many thanks to the Mowelfund Library in Quezon City for giving me access to their photo archives, and to Nina Dandan for photographing and cropping each image.

Yes, that's Dolphy! The Pinoy King of Comedy makes an unbilled cameo as a favour after Weng Weng's appearances in three Dolphy vehicles (The Quick Brown Fox, Stariray and Da Best In Da West)

Legs Katawan Babae (1981)

8. Legs Katawan Babae (1981)

Margarita Productions (first screened 2nd July 1981)

Director Tony Ferrer Screenplay “Tony S.”/Antonio Mortel Music George Canseco Cinematography Ver Reyes Sound Jun Martinez Editor Edgardo “Boy” Vinarao

Cast Sonny Parsons, Mike Respall, Bernie Fineza, Joji Garcia, Mon Picazo, Myrna Castillo, Jess Lapid Jr, Weng Weng, Max Alvarado, Nick Romano, Victor Bravo, Mike Cohen, Rey Sagum, Val Iglesia, Renato Robles, Vic Varrion, Ben Dato, Rusty Satos, Alex Bolado, Marissa del Mar, Monica Locca, Edna Gatchalian, Laarnie Enriquez, Dinah Dominguez

For Y'ur Height Only (1981)

1981 - For Y’ur Height Only (Liliw Productions)

[Philippines release date 6th September 1981]

NOTE: the company changed its name to Liliw Films International after FYHO was sold around the world

Director Eddie Nicart Story/Screenplay Cora Ridon Caballes Producer Peter M. Caballes Executive Producer Dick Randall Cinematography Bhal Dauz Editor Edgardo Vinarao Stunt Co-ordinator Eddie Nicart Music Pablo Vergara Theme song “Nilikha Ba Ako Upang Masaktan” sung and composed by Maraya, produced by Light Star Productions Inc

Credited cast Weng Weng (Mr Weng, Agent 00) Uncredited on English version Max Alvarado (Columbus), Yehlen Catral (Lola), Mike Cohen (Professor Kohler), Tony Ferrer (Chief), Jim Gaines (voice: English version), Rodolfo 'Boy' Garcia (Mr Kaiser), Goliath (Mr Giant), Anna Marie Gutierrez (Anna), Carmi Martin (Marilyn), Romy Nario (Cobra), Nick Nicholson (voice: English version), Ruben Ramos (Jack), Beth Sandoval (Irma)

Also known as: For Your Height Only (export title)... Todliche Mission (“Dead Mission”, West German VHS release on the IHV label)… Erittäin Lyhyt (Finland)

The 1981 Manila International Film Festival was designed by First Lady Imelda Marcos as an elaborate showcase of Filipino culture. To everyone’s horror, the only film that sold to the world was a midget spy film – a miniature mockery of Western pop iconography, and a joyously naïve celebration of Filipino Goon Cinema - called For Y’ur Height Only.

Eddie Nicart, renowned stunt director for the SOS Daredevils, trained Weng Weng every day for three months to be a professional stuntman, and after Agent 00 (also 1981), this was his second opportunity to direct. And what a job he did - over the astounding course of the film Agent 00, our curious little brown hero with a receding Ramones bowl cut and an all-white suit and boater, cracks an international drug ring, gets the girl, loses the girl (“Irmaaaaa!”) and infiltrates the secret lair of evil criminal mastermind Mr Giant (played, appropriately enough, by a dwarf named Goliath), all with an armful of gadgets and his famous trick of punching someone in the balls, then running between their legs.

It’s hard to pin down the appeal of For Y’ur Height Only. It’s not just the novelty of seeing a Filipino midget pretending to be a gun expert and ladies’ man, or the inexplicable thrill of watching bad (and I mean BAD) kung fu movies. Maybe it’s the inadvertently genius deconstruction of both Western action films and their Pinoy counterparts, surreal pot-addled dubbing by American expats (and Apocalypse Now survivors) Jim Gaines and Nick Nicholson, or inspired casting of every Bad Guy (or “Goon”) still alive at the time, and the James Bond of the Philippines himself, Tony Ferrer aka Agent X44, as Weng Weng’s boss. Perhaps it’s a combination of its constituent elements, or something new altogether. It all adds up to an absurdist masterpiece of gloriously bad cinema, one which was sold all over the world and became one of the Philippines’ most successful exports.

International press book from Cannes Film Festival, 1982 [scans courtesy of Lucas Balbo]

Turkish poster [scan courtesy of Lucas Balbo]

D'Wild Wild Weng (1982)

10. D’Wild Wild Weng (1982)

Liliw Films International (first screened March 25, 1982)

Director Eddie Nicart Executive Producer Peter M. Caballes Story/Screenplay Cora Ridon Caballes Cinematography Bhal Dauz Music Pablo Vergara Editor Edgardo "Boy" Vinarao Stunt Director Eddie Nicart Props & Setting Jaime Dionio, Eddie Caster, Bobby Caballes, Rod Reyes Production Manager Tino Veluya Schedule Master Bobby Caballes Stills Ricky Diaz Makeup Baby Gonzales Field Soundman Ruben Gultiano Assistant Cameraman Andres dela Paz Shooting Unit AM Productions Assistant Editors Isagani Cells, Danny Gloria Sound Effects Rodel Capule, Lando Capule Color Processing & Post Production Motion Picture Laboratories Post Production Magnatech Omni Assistant Director Mando Pangilinan Routine Instructors Oscar Reyes, Mando Pangilinan Sales Manager Rene Pascual

Cast Weng Weng (Mr Weng), Yehlen Catral (Elsa), Nina Sara (Clara), Max Alvarado (Lupo the mute), Max Laurel (Gordon), Romy Diaz (Senor Sebastian), Ernie Ortega (Ku Manchu), Robert Miller, Rene Romero, Ike Lozada (Grateful villager, pre-credits), Dencio Padilla (Mr Dencio, Clara’s father), Joe Cunanan, Jay Grama, Gil Bandong, Nelson Armiza, Ray Albella, Lito Navarro, Fred Esplana, Alex Pascual, Lito de Guzman, Rio Esguerra, Domeng Reyes, SOS Daredevils, Goliath (Indian chief), Erning Reyes, Brando Navarro, Fullosa, Gody Pacrem, Arthur Liobon, Rey Valenzuela, Ben Sanchez, Elpidio Navillon, Bert Gamboa, Ernie Gubaton, Thumblers, Lawin Stuntman, Barusio Stuntman, Porso Boys, D’Professional Stuntman

Review by Andrew Leavold:

One of Weng Weng’s first cameos saw him playing deputy to Dolphy, the king of Filipino comedy himself, in Da Best In Da West (1981), a film which employs the outrageous conceit of having its cast, itself a throwback to the glory days of the Pinoy western, run around in cowboy hats and ponchos, whilst clearly remaining rooted in the modern-day Filipino countryside. D’Wild Wild Weng (1982), made barely 12 months later between the Agent 00 films, is a shameless plundering of d’King’s RVQ production courtesy of Peter and Cora Caballes’ rival Liliw Films International, and shares (exploits?) much of the cast from Weng Weng’s other movies.

Romy Diaz as the maniacal Senor Sebastian

Yehlen Catral (Lola in For Y’ur Height Only) plays Elsa the barmaid, classic bad guy Romy Diaz (The Impossible Kid’s main villain Senor Manolo) is note-perfect with Mestizo superiority as the corrupt governor Sebastian, Max (FYHO’s tartan-clad villain in shades and cloth cap) Alvarado takes a turn at playing a sympathetic non-Goon character as the mute Lupo, and Nina Sara (later in The Impossible Kid) is Weng’s love interest Clara. It’s no coincidence that all four actors ALSO worked on Da Best In Da West, considering producer Pete Caballes scored one of the many gratuitous cameos, was good friends with Dolphy, and secured Weng Weng roles in two of Dolphy’s films (see also 1980’s The Quick Brown Fox). You can almost picture Caballes on the set of Da Best... with a huge butterfly net and box of pins.

D’Wild Wild Weng is not strictly speaking an Agent 00 film, as Weng Weng trades in his characteristic white suit for a tiny waist coat and ruffled shirt (incognito, you understand). He is only ever referred to as “Mister Weng” or “Mr Wang”, depending on how hungover the guy in the dubbing booth was. He does, however, strip down to karate pants to do some suave martial art moves and, once the sight of Weng without a shirt becomes too much, dons the familiar white attire AND blue paratrooper duds for target practice, just in case you’ve forgotten what he’s capable of.

(left to right) Max Alvarado as the mute Lupo, "Mr Weng" and Gordon (Max Laurel)

Silhouetted against the opening Spaghetti Western credits and Pablo Vergara’s jaunty mariachi score, government agents “Mr Weng” and his mountainous sidekick Gordon - who, played by future Zuma star Max Laurel, is more than twice the size of Weng - head to Santa Monica to investigate the slaying of the Mayor and his family. They find the Mayor’s caretaker Lupo has had his tongue cut out (Max Alvarado grunts and squeals and pulls faces, but under his Chinese villain mustache we can still see his tongue!) and the evil governor Senor Sebastian in control, along with the familiar faces of Eddie Nicart’s stunt team SOS Daredevils as Sebastian’s army of Goons, decked out in uniform sombreros and gunbelts. Villages are burnt, townsfolk are lynched, goats and chickens are confused. These are desperate times indeed.

Weng and Gordon rescue kindly villagers Mr Dencio and his daughter Clara, who warn them of Sebastian’s terrible ways. Later, sensing an opening, Weng tunelessly serenades Clara outside her window with Gordon on guitar and Lupo squealing harmonies; it’s a direct steal from Dolphy’s hopeless attempt at seduction in Da Best In Da West, in which Weng strums a guitar as big as he is. Less than a minute later they discover the family has been kidnapped - by ninjas, no less! - and are tied to X-shaped crosses by Sebastian’s sidekick Ku Manchu (Ernie Ortega). Weng helps them escape, but is later captured himself, spread-eagled between four posts with his shirt more than a little ruffled.

As always, Weng’s stature is the main source of amusement - from being carried around in a sack on Gordon’s back, to stealing bananas from under a table, to Gordon launching him like a coconut at Sebastian’s balcony. It’s as if a performing monkey had its cigar taken away and was cross-bred with Arnold from Diff’rent Strokes, then dressed in a set of Tijuana pajamas. At one point Gordon rescues Weng from his cell by dressing as a monk, while Weng crawls under his cowl and clings - fetal style - to his belly, before hanging down like Max Laurel’s third leg. Shudder. He then slides across the floor, in vintage 00 mode, through a goon’s legs and karate chops their hamstrings, and does a bionic leap from a sixth-story church tower into Gordon’s waiting jeep. In a word: Weng Gold.

Of course, there are very few gadgets in the Wild West other than a Gatling Gun, even bigger than Weng Weng, mounted on the back of a jeep for the big finale. And what an ending: Weng, Gordon and Lupo face-off against a veritable army of Goons.

Weng: Where’s Clara?

Gordon: Where’s Elsa?

Lupo: Bla bla bla bla? Huh?

On the signal, Weng cranks the rattling Gatling’s handle as fast as his little arm can, mowing down wave after wave of “Mexicans” in slow motion (recalling the best moments of D’Wild Bunch).

Stage left, a tribe of pygmy Indians - you ready correctly, DWARVES in redface and warpaint - launch a counter-attack with bows and arrows amidst a sea of explosions. Oh, and let’s not forget the ninjas. It’s one of the most insane Filipino B-endings, a micro-Apocalypse Now and a dadaist triumph for Nicart’s merry band of pranksters.

The Agent 00 films were sold all over the world, but I don’t recall an English-dubbed midget western ever making it past Manila Customs. As with its follow-up The Impossible Kid, Weng Weng has the same literal, uninspired and relatively humourless dialogue delivered in a breathy baritone at complete odds with his real helium-huffing voice, which makes you yearn for the For Y’ur Height Only crew to hijack the dubbing studio. And, like The Impossible Kid, it’s technically rough in places, and ultimately isn’t a patch on the original Agent 00 adventure. Nevertheless, D’Wild Wild Weng does have its share of glorious Weng Weng moments, and the fiesta music (with just a hint of the theme from The Good The Bad And The Ugly) keeps things, like Max Laurel’s third leg, swinging away nicely.