Secret Of The Incas' Empire (1987)

1987 – The Secret Of The Incas’ Empire (Cine Suerte Inc/Effe Kappa S.r.l.)

[Original Italian title “Alla Ricerca Dell'Impero Sepolto”]

Director/Producer “Frank Kramer”/Gianfranco Parolini Story/Screenplay “Frank Kramer”/Gianfranco Parolini, Gualberto Sanchez Alvino Based on the novel “Secret Of The Buried Kingdom” by Gualberto Sanchez Alvino Associate Producers “Benny”/Ben G. Yalung, Nick Jordan Music “Walt Ritz”/Walter Rizzati Cinematography “William”/Guglielmo Mancori Cameraman “Marius”/Mario Sbrenna Editor M. Lee Master Art Director Oskar d'Amici Production Manager “Ignacius”/Ignazio Dolce Production Coordinators Tiny Romero, Lito Lopez Assistant Camera “Adrian”/Adriano Mancori Dialogue Consultant John Gayford Stunts Jerry Bailey, Ronnie Patterson, Ramon Jimenez, Nandy Zialcita, Judy Brown, William Romero, Mike Villareal, Brando Navarro Costumes Simone Debbas Special Effects Renato Abadeza Wardrobe Chief Alex Argente Chief Grip Robert Emmy Chief Gaffer Joel Caneta Set Dresser Romy Mabutal Make-Up Adonella de Rossi Continuity Phoebe Mateo Interpreter Edoardo Bong Ilano Chief Constructor Luciano D’Achille Carpenters Renato Mediarito, Asterio Rodriguez, Leonardo Mediarto Color Lab Luciano Vittori

Cast “Conrad Nichols”/Luigi Mezzanotte ('Inca Man' Bradbury), Kelly London (Linda Logan), Vassilli Karis (Angel Lansky), Ann Karin, Lyka Ugarte, Max Laurel, “J. Francis Scott”/Gianfranco Parolini (Prof. Alexis Xristopoulos), Frank Vitale (Professor Rivera), John Peebes (Inca), Willy Morales (Noah), Vangie Labalan (Innkeeper), Sonny Crane (Atienza), Rago Apollo (Executioner), Larry Silva (Brutus), Steve Alcarado (Celeiro), Florence Carvajal (Rose), Marilyn Bautista (Missionary Girl), Ben Imperial (Old Quechua Chief)

Review from the Monster Hunter website:

At long last it can be revealed! The startling secret of the Incas’ empire has been hidden from the eyes of the white man for a millennia! Now, thanks to the unceasing efforts of Professor Bradbury and his sidekick, Linda Logan, the entire world will know what has been concealed beneath the volcano deep in Incan country, wherever the hell that is! Is it an untold wealth of fabulous jewels? Tons of shiny, kick ass gold knick knacks? A fountain of youth that gives all who taste from its refreshing pool eternal life? Any of those would be pretty snazzy to be sure! If the secret of the Incas’ empire sucked!

Which it doesn’t! Because why would you go to all the effort to keep something sucky like a lost ark or some other overhyped doodad secret? The Incas knew exactly what they were doing when they made sure that only those with the smarts and courage to survive the plastic alligators and avalanche of foam boulders would uncover their most prized treasure! And that treasure would be an organ!

But not just any organ! An organ like you might have been able to buy at a mall in the late 1970s! And it came with a freaking bench! Yeah, the Holy Grail is pretty awesome, but it’s not like you have any place to sit down while you’re admiring it! If you got tired of standing after finding it, you’d probably have to sit on the floor of some dusty cave! Once again, the Incans prove to be far more advanced than we ever imagined!

But what would be awesome about a holy organ if there was no one to play it? The Incas thought of this, too! That’s why there’s a guy dressed up in a ratty bird costume who tickles the ivories at dramatic moments throughout the film! I know, I know, so far the Incas’ Secret Stash I’ve described only sounds like half of The Captain And Tennille and without even the sea captain’s cap! The Incas thought of that also though! That’s why Birdman can shoot lasers out of his eyes! It’s like if Elton John was an X-Men!

Like all great adventures that end up in an underground temple where the Incan Billy Joel is holding court, getting there isn’t easy. In fact, it’s downright painful! Especially for the viewer! The first hour of the movie alone is enough to ward off all but the hardiest souls, even those trained up on toxic Italian Indiana Jones clones like The Mines Of Kilimanjaro and Mark Of The Scorpion! The distinct lack of entertaining action combined with a story that was just as mysterious as the Incas’ big secret will no doubt leave many nonbelievers on the side of the road fast asleep!

If you battle the odds, grit your teeth, and fight back the urge to kill yourself though, you’ll find that we’ve got your basic treasure map being pursued by bad guys situation. The bad guys chase the good guys around the jungle which must be a pretty small jungle since the good guys are always escaping and the bad guys never have any trouble locating them again. Attacks by fake gators, an encounter with a truck full of whores, and a run in with the guardian of the temple who worships an idol with a boner highlight things.

The movie makes a valiant effort in the last thirty minutes to deliver on its lost temple promise by having our heroes battling Birdman while everything is exploding around them. The girl gets herself tied up under a giant press-like thing that threatens to crush her and it’s only after Birdman somehow falls down some stairs into the underground lake that Professor Bradbury can set about rescuing her. The movie does show an admirable amount of self-awareness when the girl complains about how long it’s taking him to save her and he reminds her that he isn’t Indiana Jones! Really? No wonder you looked more like Conrad Nichols from Days Of Hell and Thor The Conqueror than Harrison Ford!

Director Gianfranco Parolini (Samson, Sabata, Five For Hell) returns to direct his final feature after taking ten years off and proves that those ten years when he wasn’t making movies were good not just for him, but for the rest of us as well! An ugly, poorly shot affair that never explained much and relied on the girl falling into various places to move the story along (and forced her and her boyfriend to unconvincingly roll down tunnels to simulate something approaching action), The Secret Of The Incas’ Empire does sport those “special” moments you’re no doubt searching for like so much lost Incan piano-related treasure.

There’s the time Professor Bradbury explains that he’s able to throw things with a great deal of accuracy because he used to be a relief pitcher for the Dodgers. And who would even try to forget the stunningly hilarious final moments of the film that gives us slow motion for no reason, but then manages to make us forget how dumb that was by having the end of the movie turn into a really bad painting! There’s even a couple of panty shots for you dirty birds out there, too! A sword fight between the muscled-up temple guardian and the good guy where our hero also manages to use an umbrella should give you an idea of what to expect out of this one. Once you see it, there’s no way you’ll want to keep this secret!

Leathernecks (1988)

1988 - Leathernecks (Gico Cinematografica S.r.l./Dania Film/National Cinematografica)

[Original Italian title “Colli Di Cuoio”, released in Spain as "Comando Chaquetas De Cuero"]

Director “Paul D. Robinson”/Ignazio Dolce Story/Screenplay Tito Carpi Producer Gianfranco Couyoumdjian Cinematography Guglielmo Mancori Music/Computer Programmer Stefano Mainetti Editor Alberto Moriani [IMDB also lists Ernesto Triunveri] Set Designer Walter Patriarcha Production Supervisor Agostino Pane Director’s Assistant Alessandra Pecci Production Secretary Raffaella Couyoumdjian Cameraman Mario Sbrenna Continuity F. Cilento Bragolusi Assistant Cameraman Luigi Conversi Assistant Editor Antonella Alocci Art Director Luciano D’Achille Key Grips Claudio D’Achille, Luciano Giuseppone

Cast Richard Hatch, “Tony”/Antonio Marsina, Vassilli Karis, Robert Marius, Jack Alba, Anthony Sawyer, “Tania”/Tanya Gomez, James Mitchum, George Rosek, Hans Liebder, Martin Wannack

Sgt Slaughter's review from the Internet Movie Database:

An action-packed, brought to us by Ignazio Dolce - the guy who directed several other 'Nam action flicks including "The Last Platoon". It's a plot less little exploitation movie, filmed on a shoestring budget in the Philippines.

Richard Hatch (who also starred The Last Platoon) leads a top-notch Italian B-movie cast, including a beefy Jim Mitchum (In Harm's Way) in one of his last roles, as well as Vassili Karis (SS Girls), Antonio Marsina (The Rangers) and Robert Marius. Anyway, Hatch leads a patrol and finds a cache of US weapons being transported by the VC. So, he gets back to base and leads an intelligence officer out to track down the arms dealer. Well, after some good double-crosses and shoot-em-ups, Hatch gets back to his base in time for a big climactic battle.

The film looks and sounds a lot like "The Green Berets", or "Zulu", or even "The Alamo" - but doesn't equal any of those earlier epics. At least half of the movie concerns these guys defending a small village atop a desolate hill, while the VC charge out of the surrounding jungle and blast away with mortars and M-16s. These battle scenes are excellently done, filled with some dizzying photography, lots of good explosion effects and slow-motion photography.

There is plenty of good-looking Filipino scenery. Most Italian 'Nam or Mercenary movies were shot in the Philippines to take advantage of very cheap production costs and good-looking geography. You never for once doubt you're in Vietnam. The soldiers look sweaty, grimy and angry. The Vietnamese villagers look emaciated, tired and scared.

The movie does have its low points, though. The script really lacks character development and the actors fail to deliver any strong material. For the most part, they just sit around swearing at each other. All the GIs are interchangeable, since none of them have the least bit of personality. The production also looks pretty low-budget. Men shout that there's "A million VC out there!" and it only looks like maybe 20 or 30 guys are attacking - and notice how they all look exactly alike? The number never decreases, even after Hatch and company have blown away about 100 guys. The ending also really upset me, since it leaves the story hanging and has Hatch blowing away about 3 dozen VC while charging out in the open. Of course, the VC just keep coming with firing back and Hatch is standing out in the open, never running out of ammo. Sheesh.

"Leathernecks" is just another in the slew of high-octane, low-plot Vietnam action-exploitation flicks to come out in the 80s. It's a fun little flick, but don't expect anything special.

Last Platoon (1988)

1988 - Last Platoon (Gico Cinematografica S.r.l./ DMV Distribuzione/Reteitalia)

[Italian production filmed in the Philippines, original Italian title "Angel Hill: L'Ultima Missione"; released on German VHS as “Bye Bye Vietnam”, in Poland as “Ostatni Pluton”, in Greece as “To Teleftaio Platoon” and on Finnish VHS as “Viimeinen Joukko”]

NOTE: Not to be confused with the film Bye Bye Vietnam from Fulvia Film, also filmed in the Philippines in 1988, and directed by “Mark Davis”/Camillo Teti

Director “Paul D. Robinson”/Ignazio Dolce Writer Tito Carpi Producer Gianfranco Couyoumdjian Cinematography Sergio D'Offizi Music Stefano Mainetti Song "Suddently A Hero" Composers L. Gane, Stefano Mainetti Singer R. Napoli Orchestration Director Elvio Monti Editor Alberto Moriani Production Supervisor Agostino Pane Director's Assistant Alessandra Pecci Production Secretary Raffaella Couyoumdjian Cameraman Sandro Tamborra Key Grips Luciano D'Achille, Roberto Emidi Assistant Editor Ernesto Triunveri Editing Assistant Antonella Alocci 

Cast Richard Hatch (Costa), Vassili Karis, David Light, Milene Thy-Sanh, Anthony Sawyer, Mike "Monti"/Monty, Donald Pleasence (Colonel B. Abrams), Larry Melwin, Paul Persse, Robert J. Collins, Dan Pedersen, Donald Crob, [uncredited] Max Laurel, James McKenzie (Phil)

SYNOPSIS: After ex-cop and highly decorated war hero Chet Costa's Vietnamese girlfriend disappears, he accepts a risky mission: he shall blow up a bridge at the Vietnamese border to close the Vietcong's line of communication. He's given a group of prisoners to accompany him. Already on the way there their helicopter is shot down; a march through the wilderness begins. When his soldiers recognize that they're effectively on a suicide mission, they decide to get rid of their Seargent and to flee to Bangkok.

Review on the Internet Movie Database:

Richard Hatch (Battlestar Gallactica's Apollo!) plays a tough, no nonsense colonel leading a grimy squad (including some cons he has previously arrested back in his police force days) deep into Vietnamese territory in order to detonate a heavily guarded bridge in this pretty solid war flick.

Whilst Hatch is great in the role, the same sadly cannot be said of the usually ever reliable Donald Pleasance who puts on a particularly bad American accent and meanders his way through his lines here as Hatch's senior officer. Regular fans of Italian B-movies will also no doubt spot the welcome face of Mike Monty here although in a sadly far, far too brief role.

If you're looking for a great plot then I'm afraid that you've come to the wrong place for there virtually isn't one present. The film is merely content to show our hero's trekking through the hostile and frequently deadly territory as they gradually near their intended objective. Despite how this may sound on paper however, this linear and base approach actually works very well for the film and provides some gripping viewing, especially as our squad are gradually psychologically eroded and indeed are physically whittled down by numerous perilous VC set traps in addition to a number of lethal ambushes.

The action sequences themselves are competently handled throughout in a fairly realistic manner and all the said action is ever backed up by a solid soundtrack. Interestingly, but not a rare phenomenon in the Italian movie industry, there is a fair number of instances in which footage lifted from other movies is included in the films running time. Of particular note, a number of scenes from Antonio Margheriti's excellent 'The Last Hunter' pop up here (including the railway/refinery explosion sequence from the pre-credits opening of that movie).

Overall then, for fans of the war genre this is definitely well worth a look. Just don't go into this expecting any Rambo style heroics, this is war of the more gritty, realistic nature.